Recent events in our translation department have caused me to re-evaluate why am I here in Tanzania. Before I came to Tanzania I had many reasons for wanting to be part of a Bible translation project, the most important one being that I believed God was calling me to this work. But I had many other reasons along with that. I wanted to do something with my life that would last forever. I wanted to invest in people. I wanted people to be able to read the Bible in their own languages. I wanted to live in another culture and learn another language. I wanted to be a part of what God was doing, somewhere else in the world. Never did I dream how easily those reasons could be disposed of.
Somewhere along the way it stopped being fun learning another language and culture and become increasingly frustrating, feeling out of place and never able to communicate well. People didn’t always respond as I hoped and I didn’t feel like I was investing in them. It’s difficult work translating and sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever have a good translation that people can read in their mother tongue. But most of all recently, I have discovered that people who I thought were committed to this work, aren’t all that committed and it makes me question why I am still here.
I am still here because I have one reason left to be here and that is that God called me. In the end it boils down to the fact that my work out here does not depend on the commitment of Tanzanians or other colleagues. It doesn’t depend on whether people want me to be here or whether they like me or not. It doesn’t depend on my personal fulfillment or desire to live in another culture. It depends on the fact that the God whom I serve and have dedicated my life to, asked me to work here and I need to obey. That’s it.
So whether I am struggling with my ministry or in my personal life, I will stay. And I know more than ever how faithful God is and that we will walk together through these times when everything seems to be coming apart at the seams. And His will will be done.
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